Life, Fiber, Books and All

{December 2, 2008}   You would be Surprised…..

You would be surprised by the idiocy of some. No, seriously. People are soooo dumb, its hard to believe.


For example, on my way home I come down a hill and then go strsight for a while and then I come to a curve. Now, I have three choices there. I can go left (and soon get home), I can go right (and go on a very long 7 mile round about way home) or I can go straigh, and drive into a house. Infront of the house there is a brand new bright yellow flourescent sign with a double ended arrow pointing left and right. Why you really need a sign there telling you you have to go left or right instead of driving into a house is beside me. Personally I would rather see that money go to repairing a few pot holes. But apparently it is more imporant to tell idiots to turn and not drive into a house. And after all, I know the house has stood for 150 odd years, and it hasn’t been driven into yet, so of course some idiot needs the sign to tell them not to drive into it now.


Another thing is, apparently people forget how to park after its snowed. I know some people get all excited when it snows, and they are so happy and joyful and sickening. Other people get all grumpy and bumpy and gloomy and refuse to move for fear the snow will invade inside and they will slip and break a hip.

I LOVE snow. I like it, I can’t stand walking in it or driving in it, or being cold because of it. But otherwise I LOVE snow. Its so pretty and soft and white and sparkly and I just love it. Just keep it on the other side of the fence. I also don’t like driving it it. Keep it on the sides of the road, and give me at least two of those nice bone dry gray strips to drive it, or better yet give me a whole road of dry so I can put cruise control on. I LOVE cruise control!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, people are idiots in the snow, some people are afraid to be out driving so they go so slow they literally become a danger. Other people ignore the snow and go so fast they are also a danger (they always are, but the snow makes them more so). I know some men, and probubly women, who will brush off their whole vehicle, except where the liscense plate is. Then they will speed, and cut corners, and ignore traffic laws and signs because they know no one can see what they liscense plate number is.

And, apparently because it is snowy and no one had plowed the parking lot it is okay to park whereever you want. And by wherever you want I mean, following the handicapped and no parking signs (which are painted on the ground, which you cannot see) but taking up two or three spots with your tiny car. Literall, I saw lots of free room in the parking lot (a small parking lot, which services the four busyest buildings), however none of the room would fit more then a motorcycle. People were ignoring the lines and the space and just parking where ever they felt like. I personally parked in the first spot I could find (in this parking lot you aren’t picky, you just park). I knew I could fit there, and I did. I parked wonderfully, not hitting either car on either side of me, or the one infront of me. Then I tried to get out, OOPS. I couldn’t fit out the door.

My car door could open approximatly 2 inches, unfortunatly I am wider then 2 inches, and so is my bag with books. So I had to pull out and find another spot, and I was very tempted to just swipe the two cars. (they had again parked so stupidly, taking up enough space for 5 cars between the two of them). And trolled slowly looking for a parking spot. And I did find one after 5 minutes, in the very back. And of course then I had to walk throught the slush to the door. I, silly me, am wearing very good green sneakers. They are awesome for the summer. Unfortunatly they have holes in the sides, perfect for letting air flow freely, or slush flow through. My feet were literally soaking in icy cold slush by the time I got inside. And now, about 5 hours later my feet are freezing cold and still very wet. I do NTO look forward to going back outside to the slush. Although I am absolutly going to find my winter shoes. Big and cluncky and not nice looking, but warm and mostly water proof.


People are so dumb! And I know that I am constantly amazed by it. But still, how can you be so dumb???????? Really, I know that talking on your cell phone while driving is imporant, even if it is illegal. But so is actually stopping for a red light instead of sailing through it (while traffice is using the intersection). *kisses breaks*.

Seriously! Try getting a brain transplant or something. I cannot watch out for you and stop you from byeing or getting injured to a stupid mistake. I refuse to babysit anyone, okay I refuse to babysite adults. And really, as a tutor in a college I find thats what I have to do. And frankly I don’t. Which probubly makes me a bad tutor, but I don’t care.




Idiot- the worst curse in the world, according to me.

idiocy- what an idiot is.



On another note, I finished “Between Silk and Cynide”


It was very, very good. And highly enjoyable. And when I am home and have the book I will finish my reveiw. Until then, I still highly recomend it. At the same time I will warn you at the very end it becomes much sadder. You learn what happened to agen’s Leo Mark’s was worried about, and it is truely terrible. I have always known that people died, and how some of them died. But never before have I been so invested in them, never before has it stuck me so much. I don’t know if that is because it was an adult book and I am an adult, if Leo Marks was such a strong and incredible writer, or because of some off phase of the moon.

I do know that it has renewed an interest in WW II, and interest I have had since I was about 12 years old. But with classes and stress the way they are now I don’t knwo if I will actually be able to find anything to read, or if I will want to. Now I just want fun, interesting, somewhat light, and occasionally uplifting books. AKA, I don’t want anything too serious or depressing. Life and life and lfie are too serious and depressing at the moment, I really hate to take on any from someone else.




{November 1, 2008}   Dragons!

Gotta love dragons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Visit mine:

<a href=””><img src=”” style=”border-width: 0″ alt=”Adopt one today!”/></a>


Take a look.

Apparently yo adopt abandond eggs and then try and get the dragon to hacth. hopefully it will be cute.

{August 20, 2008}   #IG XANA = entertainment!

Today someone from the guild of XANA IG’d us. I of course answered as a good HK should! And I was highly entertaining, if only to myself. And, I thought I would post that conv here. Of course edited t exclude everything but the #ig’s and a few other choice words *perhaps*

Dedicated to CCG:

#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] hello all 🙂
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] hi there
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] hi guin hows u?
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] feel like throwing up, otherwise great
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] you?
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] ewwwwwwwwwwwwww tmi
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] you ask, I answer 😉
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i guess i did but i did not ecpect a responce like that
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] today I have  a philosophy of pure honesty.
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] can I ask what you expected as an answer if you asked me how I was? The standard “okay”?
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] just a i am ok or fine would have been nice
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] but not honest
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] should I lie?
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] y alot of other ppl do
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] but lieing isn’t very nice.
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] ya i know
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i did not want to know u wanted to throw up that was wtmi
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] then you should really rephase your questions
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] perhaps “How are you?” *disclaimer* the answer must be “fine” or “okay”
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] nornamly ppl just say i am good or not feeling well not that u want to throw up
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] we’re allies, should I blunt the truth for you? Or be honest
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] what does us being allies have to do with it
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] allies are honesdt with one another. they don’t tell lies
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i see what that has to do with me asking u i am not asking as a lly
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] are you asking as a freind? an aquantance? a stranger?
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] I assumed you were speaking as an allie since xana is that and I have never met you
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] at this moment we dont know each other well we r strangers
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] however I know xana as an allie guild
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] DUH i know that
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] why else would you be talking to us other then as an allie if you didn’t know us?
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i used to be in the boc guild i have friends in there still
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] awesome! However I have never met you before. So I have to speak to you as a an allie until I know you as a freind
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] there is no guarentee in the friendship area
#Ig [Krones->XANA] hi Krystal, I feel like throwing up
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i do to now thanks
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] why is their no gaurentee? We were both in the same guild. We are bot hallies
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] very sorry to hear that.
#Ig [SunShine->XANA] stop talking about throwing up
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] why?
#Ig [SunShine->XANA] just say i feel ill
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] *throws up on SS*
#Ig [Krones->XANA] throwing up is fun, what’s wrong?
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] *hands out shower towels and cleaning colutions*
#Ig [SunShine->XANA] its called a eating disorder
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] I am very sorry to hear you feel “ill”
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] care to elaborate on your illness. I can

[Krones @ 52361]: ROFL
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: *wairs*(
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: poor sunny*
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: waits
[Krones @ 52361]: I think Krystal will puke lol
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: too true
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: good news it I won’t!
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i dont want to hear about ppl throwing up
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] then don’t ask how people feel. you might get a true answer
#Ig [MooN_sTAr->XANA] hi kry
#Ig [Krones->XANA] we haven’t. *yet*
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] and I said I FEEL, not that I have

[Krones @ 52361]: ROFL
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: *wairs*(
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: poor sunny*
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: waits
[Krones @ 52361]: I think Krystal will puke lol
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: too true
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: good news it I won’t!
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i dont want to hear about ppl throwing up
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] then don’t ask how people feel. you might get a true answer
#Ig [MooN_sTAr->XANA] hi kry
#Ig [Krones->XANA] we haven’t. *yet*
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] and I said I FEEL, not that I have

[Krones @ 52361]: ROFL
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: *wairs*(
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: poor sunny*
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: waits
[Krones @ 52361]: I think Krystal will puke lol
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: too true
[guinevereanne @ 52361]: good news it I won’t!
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i dont want to hear about ppl throwing up
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] then don’t ask how people feel. you might get a true answer
#Ig [MooN_sTAr->XANA] hi kry
#Ig [Krones->XANA] we haven’t. *yet*
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] and I said I FEEL, not that I have
#Ig [Krones->XANA] completely different things, you see. Intention and acting
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] i dont care it u have to or need to i did not want to know i have how all is doing and it turned inot a big debate
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] we were honest. you are the one who apparently has a problem with it
#Ig [KrystaliS:XANA] nvm i wont ask u all that again see ya bye
#Ig [Krones->XANA] ask something else next time 😉
#Ig [guinevereanne->XANA] it was nice chatting, have a good day. And do feel better!




Man, now I don’t feel like throwing up at all! And of course I am literally laughing outloud.


Hope it answers your questions ccg. Guin

So, I think I have a problem. A serious problem.


I have fleece lust. I recently purchased fiber with about half of my free cash on ahnd. And not just any fiber, fiber from Monroe Wisc and a sheep freindly farm. (gotta love that place!). Almost all of the fiber was naturally colored. And about half is in roving or cloud form while the other half is in lock form. And guess what, I really have lock wants.

I would love to start seling my own yarns and dyed roving. Of course I’d really need to go a lot of work and build up a base of things to offer before I started an online shop. And almost all of what I’m willing to sell is homespun yarn. SO I started looking at different people’s shops (Spuny Eclectic, The Painted Sheep, Yarn Wench, Holly EQQ…) as well as loads of Etsy shops. That inevitably led to me looking at ebay. Now, I’ve never before looked at anything on ebay.

So, I was surprised with the different things I found and the very cheap prices. I mean, someone is selling a 7lb sheeps fleece for ninty nine cents, and the shipping is like $23. That is super cheap. This inevitably led to me scouring all of ebay looking at spinning fibers as well as fleeces.

I did end up purchasing some cotton roving, (1lb) for about $8, super cheap. I just hope its good quality!

And I have several fleeces that I’m “Watching” and major fleece cravings. On several blogs I’ve read about people sheering their animals now, and getting the fleeces ready to sell or send to be processed. And do I ever want to buy almsot all of the fleeces up for sale.

I have fleece longing! Serious fleece longing. I have logged onto ebay about 7 times today to look over those fleeces.

Soemthing is seriously wrong with me if I’m longig to own a bag of dirty fiber from someone who may or may not be sending me a good fleece.

But they’re so much fun to wash and process. To dye and spin from. To card or just to have.

Their, I admit it! I AM A FLEECE ADDICT, I have a problem!

So, hopefylly getting the (4lb) box of fiebr I ordered from Monroe will help with this longing. But I doubt it.

On a similar front I finished plying the first two bobbins of polypay yarn. I set the twist last night, and reskeined the yarn today. I got around 444 meters, ahving filled the bobbins about half full with yarn before plying for a pretty much full bobbin.

Its fairly uneven but all within fingering weight. And its very springy and lovely. A nice creamy whitee  color. I started to spin another bobbin of singles and its about 1/4-1/3 full. Unfortuanly I had to stop spinning to make a load of rologs as I’d run out of them.

College, well I hate it at the moment. B-cat is a bastard and I’d love to kick his ass. 2-d design was long and dull. Here, read a part of my email to a classmate who missed both classes (names have been deleted):


In 2-d design we looked at all of the ‘color wheels’, and discused those for about half of class. Mostly 2-d professor talked about how the different colores related to each other, how people organized them and the differences between hue, value, shade, intensity……
The rest of class was spent working on our cd pic thing. She gave everyone an extension, instead of it being due on Wen. it is due on Monday. She said we will be able to work on it next class so I bieve that we will be meeting in the computer lab. However she also wants everyone to bring in their guache paint, bristle board and a stack of magazines. (although she did say it won’t be like B-cat’s assignment).
In drawing only 4 of us had actually done the assignment. He pretty much ignored them. Although he did say I had done mine all wrong, I had broken all the rules. And of course he didn’t say what was wrong or what rules had been broken. And of course he never even told us any rules. I of course spent all weekened doing it and am beyond caring. He did say that if I just spent a little more time of it, it might be alright. Of course then he lectured abotu how we should all spend at least 3 hours on our homework. Altogetehr I’m pissed at him!
So, I really debated about sending you a pic of my finished ‘drawing’ because its all wrong. But I don’t know if I explained it well enough before. So I will attach a pic of it.
Bob set up a still life with a focused light and we had to draw it doing stippling. At the end of class you just pounded in that the one that were good had blacks instead of all grey’s. And he liked the ones that were detailed. He also liked the ones that didn’t just do one piece of the still life and then move onto the next piece. He liked the drawing where someone did one piece and radiated tehir drawing outward from there. (I’m assuming you rememebr stippling from 2-d).
Next class he says we will be doing another still life this time just using cross hatching. Our assignment will be to finish either the stippling or the cross hatching drawing. He doesn’t care which, we’re just supposed to do one of them.
Other then that B-cat was basically his jerky, lectureing self. He told alot of people their drawing was good, and by the time he got around the room again it was terrible (and they hadn’t touched it really).

So, thats basically it. Although I tonned down the language and didn’t really go into anything or actually say what b-cat was like. The fellow student ahs him as a teacher so they know, and they don’t really aprove of us complaining about him. I just wanted the student to know what they had missed and what was said and done.


Want to see the photo I attached? Well here it is.



See how aweful it is!


And what I didn’t add to the email was that ALL of the other students thought it was the best drawing. They all seemed to really like it.

I HATE it!!!!!!!!!!! Its so terrible!! And I literally spent like 27 hours working on it. So, I continue to be pissed off at B-cat. I have a very “screw you” attaitude now. And I am not going to touche this drawing!


I did watch Atonment, it was alright but I don’t see what everyone else does it in. It was rather dull and silly.

I also watched Dan in Real Life, STUPID!!!!! The adds made it out to be soemthing of a family comedy. In reality it was a hopelessly failed mess of a romantic comedy!

The Painted Veil was alright. Very predictable, not very romantic or even dramatic. No mystery, just following a proscribed line. Not worth the time really. Perhaps as a book it would be better, but as a movie it wasn’t very good.

I am Legand, Dad really wanted to see this movie. Apparely their is a book that was written when he was younger by the same name. And I would surmise from the movie and his discription that the movie is very loosly based upon the book. Again not great. I would have said that it was alright but a dog was killed by its master so the movie was bad. Never kill an animal just to make the movie more dramatic or sad or anything like that!!!!!!!!!!!! Paticualrly not when the animal is the persons best friend, and only friend. Seriosuly, not only do so many pieces of fiction, written, radio, tv and movie have that theme, that its become overdone and rather cliche. I now seriosuly dislike and even hate evrything that kills an animal because it was someones best friend and gave its life for its master. Its just wrong!

Sydney White was dumb. A kids film, and a spoof off Snow White. Normally I love books and films and movies based off of a fairy tale. But this was just rather stupid. I think that some of the ideas were pretty good behind the movie, the whole who’s the most popular and all that. But the translation of the fairy tale into modern day didn’t work. 7 boys is a streach, but Rachel Wichburn was a terrible name. And overall it was unebleivable and stupid. Too much of Snow White is so mcuh full of the past and magic. Too much doesn’t translate into the poresant. Perhaps a spoof into the future, but not today.

All in all the movies were a disapointment.

Oh, Dad and I also saw 21 this weekened at the movie theature. Very long, if it was about half as long it would have been miuch better. Somewhat perdictable maine plot, and totally predictable subplot with the main char. I hate when they have this new guy come in, very innocent and pulled into something bad. They jsut do the bad thing as a “means to an end” and end up getting caught up in it. They get picked on a bit by the top dog, and the top dog overdoes soemthing and gets kicked out. The newer (once innocent) kids becomes cocky and looses everything he worked for. Then he redeams himself and gets what he lost back. Or he just gets the girl. To me it was like they were trying to make an epic journy film of a few days journey.



So, I’m off to troll after some fleeces, see if their are any deals so god I cannot say no. Look a little at the Monroe site and then off to bed. Tomarrow I have class again, 2-d design and then drawing with B-cat.


Best of luck all!



{April 1, 2008}   Spinning again, baby time!

Well, I still haven’t found/or looked for all of my passwords and usernames, nore have I logged back onto everything. However I was pleasently surprised to find myself logged onto Netfliks the last time I looked, without haveing to have found the password. Which was both nice and strange. The whole layout has changed, apparently to better offer me movies I’d like. But instead it just annoys me, I don’t want to see 4 movies for a few genre’s, I want a general collection of movies I’d like.

Anyway, I’ve started spinning again, while I have time. Okay, so monstly during vacation. I spun up a lovely light minty green single (hand-dyed BFL, and soysilk. Handblended both those and icicle and soemthing else which is excaping me at the moment). I plied that with this really cool novelty yarn my Mum and I got down in Camden way back when I actually knit and we actually went to Camden somewhat regualarly (read maybe 3 times a year). The novelty yarn was origionally from Japan, and it was two strands together. Mostly a white yarn with really tiny dots of color on just one of the two strands. I really liked it, I liked the scarf the yahd knit from it (I think a simple garter stitch scarf), basically I liked evrything but the name (clown novelty yarn, the Camden name anyway). I loved how it came in a little box and it had the japanesse slip of paper with the Japanesse figures. It was totally cool and I stashed it for a time when I was better at knitting. Along with a really cool blue and white silk yarn (which was really cheap because the ayrn was totally tangled and no one had the time or patience to untangel it. Real, it took about  years for its new owner (me) to untangle it.) I ended up almost coiling the soft green single around the novelty yarn. Sometimes the novelty yarn lumps (slubs) actually cover the novelty yarn, but most it coild around the novelty yarn with the little bits all poking out every which way. So very fun, and super soft! I ended up running out of the novelty yarn so I coiled the rest of the green single onto crochet cotton.

Unfortunatly I set both yarns liek I normally do (hot soapy water and plunger, cold water rinse, hot water and plunger, cold water rinse, then twack against the counter). SO they really lost alot of their shine and smoothness. They’re still super soft (I do reamember it was pretty much 50/50 BFL/soysilk. Both of which are supersoft by themselves!) but not really as glossy as I’d like. I think a nice rinse in warm water, a twack for the novelty yarn and tension for the coils would have been a betetr idea.

A yarn I completed sometime ago, but everyone needs pics:

campfire boucle

I also got out a batt of Boarder Lanchester dyed in purple which I bought from Spunky Eclectic (well I bought the locks and carded the batt of a rented drum carder). Yesterday I split and rolled the batt into rologs and spun a worsted yarn (worsted or wollen? I can never remember). Which was different and fun. I spun it to be a thicker single, rather soft.  I really like how itturned out, although the yarn did break twice while I reskeined it today. Earlier I had started to strip the batt into pieces of roving. So sometimes I’ll finish spinning the Boarder Lanchester and see which type I prefer, at least for this yarn. I think it will really be fun, particularly so see how different they are for knitting.

A doctor I visit happens to be pregnant so Mum’s knitting her a baby sweater (a sweater for the baby, duh!). Of course I now want to spin the yarn so I’ve gotten out all of those batts of white polypay I carded up. I split the first batt into strips and started spinning it that way, but find the short fibers keep escaping. So I think I’ll switch and make rologs out of the batts. Hopefully that will help with the problem (when I spun the polypay before I had handcarded them into rologs and I had the best time spinning the polypay). Its such a soft and smooshy fiber. I’m aiming to spin a three ply as a two ply apparently is really good for lace, it sort of shrinks up. But a three+ ply will actually expand and fill little gaps, basically be a very round yarn. I’m also aiming for a very soft and lofty yarn. Mum wants the sweater done by the end of April for my next appointment so I really have to get to it.

Of course I also have loads of school work. Want to see?

This is the partial charcole drawign I did for Drawing 1, and I hate it!:



See how terrible it is! Oh my god! Its so bad! And of course the homework assignment for the weekened had been to go home and finish the drawing, set up another still life the fill in the space and finish it.

So, I started over. I taped this drawing to a board and stood it on an easle. Then I set up a still life, which had all of the basic compenants that this drawing has, adn then I added more things.

I drew the new still life (bad me, apparently we aren’t allowed to draw it. But I find I do better if I do draw it first). I took pics of the drawing for you, but the pencil is too light to see.

Here is a progress pic:


Don’t mind that its crocked and I cannot find a way to turn the pic. Just take my word that its 100000000% better! I ended up spending the whole weekened on this, and I can tell you it is absoltuly amazing! Like you can step in and live in that balc and white and grey world. Sorry, no pics of it done. I forgot to take one and their is no way I am going to go dig it out now.

Unfortunatly the sound that the stumpers make gave me the worst headache, and of course I still had it really badly on Monday.

But I’m a college student, and I can’t possibly miss class because of a headache, ignoring the logic and the fact that I essentially dropped out of highschool because of my terrible debilitating headaches. So, I went to my first class, and thigns went down hill from their. I ended up spending the whole class practically holding my head and trying so hard to keep my eyes from rolling back into my skull. Between the advice of several other students and the dibilitation of my head I went home and slept for several hours. IE, unti lthe next day.

I emailed my drawing teacher to semi-lie and say that I was sick so I had missed class and could he please email me back and tell me what I had missed. And for once he was a good teacher and he did email me, and tell me what I had missed.

I fought and basically zombied tuesday, so wensday I felt alot better. But between group think (we all hate B-Kat, seriously, no one says anything nice!), the threatending snow, my fear of my headache coming back, and the annoyance with the dull and dumb class I left afetr 2-d Design. I skipped drawing for a second time. And you have no idea how terribel I felt. I feel so guilty about it. And I lied to the teacher, but he did give me the assignmetns and I did do them over the vacation. Although they aren’t all that good, at least to me.

Bruiser starting to play with a bug, in the background you can see Mum’s newest felted bag, which is super cool, other then the leather handles.


I did manage to knit a pair of socks for the “A Loose Knit Group” march as sock month. They’re green, cotton and baby socks. They were super easy, and super quick. A great first sock project. Small enough to be simple and not so big that its too dull and takes forever. However, I don’t think I’ll be knitting another pair for a bit. They’re not my thing.

I also signed up for classes for the summer semester today, I’ll be taking Chemistry and its lab the first session with Susan Baker, which is incredibly awesome! I had bio with her and it was fantastic. She’s a great teacher, has too much energy (can I siphons some off and have that instead of caffeene?), and truly enjoys what she teaches. Now, I was warned that it would not count towards and biology or an archetecture degree (the two things I’m considering), so it is a wasted class. However ALL of the sciences courses “strongly recomend” a recent chemistry class. I hane NEVER had chemstry, so it will be a good class for me.

I had also planned on signing up for Algebra I and Algebra II this summer as refresher math courses. Well, apparently those are remedial math courses and I have taken Math 111, which is all I’ll need for the next bit anyway. And here I was freaking out thinking I needed math 112. So instead I will be taking US History II (they apparently don’t need to be taken in sequential order) the second semester, and I won’t be tkaing anything the third semester. Which frankly seems very good to me. I’ll haev some time to just relax without worrying about classes.

In addition I’ve come to realize taht I’ve taken basically all of the general core classes and I really need to make up my mind and start on a degree program. Rght now that’s looking seriously liek a degree in plant biology. Which I think is fascinating and fantastic and loads of other great things! Unfortunatly at UMA I cannot get a plant biology degree, I can get a general biology degree. But I’d have to disect animals and I REFUSE to do that. Hell, I don’t even eat animals, how could I cut them up. Luckily it looks like USM has a plant biology degree, so I think I’ll probubly end up going their for the second semester this next year.

Very cool, but a little scary. I’ve never lived alone. I’ve always had my aprent’s there if I needed them. I’ve been close to all my doc’s and I’ve been able to confide in my Dad when my headaches start getting worse and anxiety and depression worsen. And, I don’t actually have any friends. Certainly I have a few online, actually the best friends I’ve ever had. But I don’t ahev any friends in person, I don’t ahev epeople that I can hang out with. Which really scares me alot. I know I do alot worse when I’m not physically around people, and more then just in a classroom. Socially as well. So its hard, very hard and very scary!

I have an urge to dye fiber, a really big urge. Unfortunaly I haven’t had time. I’m really busy with classes. Infact I need to stop typing soon and get to work on some more things.

Soemtime soon I hope to write a blog post of doing internet research, my last chapter in Legal Research was all about that and I learned aot. Which I think could be really helpful for people! I f anyone actually read this, or rather that.

Anyway, best wishes and closing with Bruiser Cat as she helps me do school (drawing) work!



{March 25, 2008}   It’s official!!!!!

I have green hair, think deeper foresty, herby green. WHich is a totally coolr color. Not the emerald green I was thinking of, but then I only specified a darker green.

 The other specification; “less is more”.

And Sarah did a great job. I have some streaks of green in my hair until just above my ears. So when my hair is down they’ll peak through. But when My hair ids up you can see these coolr green streaks.

Now, my hair does look a little moldy when its down, you cannot quite see that its green. But I almost always toss my ahir into a pony tail and god. So this is just great!

Pic’s to come when the computer accepts them and I get good ones.

green hair bit

Green Hair ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

So I went to art class this afternoon, and knew that afterwords I’d need to get gas for the car and groceries for the tummies.

Now, I had meant to get up semi early, go to Augusta and sign up for the sumemr classes, get gas and groceries and find a hair salon place to dye poart of my hair  green. Well of course all I managed to do was pop some frozen waffles into the toaster oven, re-email a paper to my dad for crrection and fall back into bed to sleep. My Mum woke me up just in time to leave for my art class (3:30pm to leave) and there I went.

I brough my latest art piece from drawing and got Pats opinion and tips on how to fix part of it. I chatted with the other people there, tried to convince Pat she should write an art book. And then left.

And I convinced myself I HAD to haev green hair. Now, the one salon I really like doesn’t dye hair anything but natural colors. So no blues, greens, or anything like that. Sure, it can have a bit of a green shade, but hardly that.

So, I park on the street, something I HATE! just because I saw an open sign on a salon door. Now, I’ve already stopped at one salon and it was closed. So this is my second one today. I have to know yo enter as they’ve locked the door, apparently the wind kept blowing it open. I ask the guy if he’s still open, there aren’t any signs telling the hours. He says “maybe, what do you want?”

I explain that I’d like to have part of my hair dyed green.

He immedeatly sands up straighter, acesses my hair, which hasn’t been washed for three days and is pulled back into a messy pony tail with bits falling out. Then he frowns slightly, tells me that my hair is gorgous and he wouldn’t do a thing to it. He thinks about it a little, and can’t decide if he’s have to bleach my hair or not. Then tells me its gorgous as is, and he wouldn’t touch it. Condesendingly he adds that the salon down the street soemtimes does “those crazy colors”

So, now I walk down the street for a few blocks (already having walked 2 blocks to get to the shop). I walk and walk, and walk fighting the wind all teh way. I get into the store, which has an open sign up, but the hours sign says that they’re closed. SO I ask them, same as above.

They can’t decide if they’d have to bleach my hair either, and debate about that and weather either of them wants to take another customer. Now, their are two stylists and each of them are working on a customer. When they find out I want green they shut down, frown and tell me condisendingly that they don’t carry that color.

What the heck! Now, the first place I could kind of understand, it had that older, 40’s+ feel. They guy who was the stylist was clearly older and very into the classic looks and feels. But seriously, isn’t teh customer always right? I mean I want green hair, AND I’m willing to pay someone to dye my hair green. They could dye it Any way they like, in streaks, bloaches, multiple shades. Whatever! Aren’t they supposed to be like “Yah!!!” and have fun? They always do when I tell them they can cut my hair however they want.

Now, I have shopped for green hair dye at several pharmacies and drug stores, and at three different groccery stores. None have it!!!! One had blue. And they all had red, and 2 had something that might be considered purple. But no green at all! I am so sick of looking at Sun-In and all that stuff.

But, I presist, I remembered that their is  Sally’s in a new strip mall near the free way. So I stopped there (I also needed to turn around so taht I could get gas on the other side of the street, and their is no way to turn left without diving head first into traffic). And they had green dye!!!!! They were helpful and kind of excited! They were out of the nice green dye, but they did have it! Three kinds actually. The preminant green was all gone. They had a temporary green that would immedeatly wash out and a spray in neon green that’s supposed to last for a few washes. Of course I got it, its brigh and green and cool. (and the two girls there also had to debate weather my hair needed to be bleached!)  I used up the whole can trying to spray streaks in my hair, and only managed to do about half my head. But that’s okay. It’s clearly meant for someone just spraying a little on the surface of their hair, not “dyeing” streaks. And its also clearly soemthing you do with your girlfriend. Too bad I don’t have any to help me with this.

But I am so excited, and slightly high from the fumes, I have green hair!!!!!!! I have no idea how it really looks, but thats okay. Its freaking green!

My Mum is going to hate it, but thats fine. Sure, it will make me feel aweful, and I’ll resent her and possibly cry. But whatever, I have green hair!

 So,  as I said I know its a complement, my hair is apparently great and gorgous as is. But if I’m not happy with it what’s the point of someone else telling me tehy won’t change it. Isn’t the principle of a stylist to give the customer something stylish, good looking and something that the customer wants? I mean seriously, they’re payign the money for the service. You’re supposed to help them, not say green hair is stupid and I won’t do it.

Seriously, get over yourself man.

Green is the newest, new color. And I totally rock! At least from my point of veiw. And isn’t that the view that matters?

I have trouble sleeping. Most specifically falling asleep.

I’ve been of meds, good and bad to help with the sleep. Including what appears (by way of TV) to be the hottest new drug Ambien CR. I was on it several years ago and after a few days it didn’t do anything for me. I think a year later I finally stopped taking it because it just wasn’t doing anything, and why take a drug that isn’t doing you any good?

I’ve tried herbal remedies and supplements. And so far the very best one has been liquid melatonine from “Natrol”. It really, really, really helps alot.

So why not take it now and get to sleep (its 1:57 am)? Because the bottle is empty. And the store that carried them (which was literally on the other side of the state) is closed-permenatly.

Sure, I have several bottles of the same brand of Melatonin in 3mg pills. Why 3mg instead of the 1mg you tried and found to be helpful? Well because you were so excited to find it you bought several bottles without thinking to see if they were any different from the first brand.

And for whatever reason the 3mg pills do not cut very well, they just crumble up and end up a mess. If I take the whole pill then I end up sleeping about 4 hours more then I need or want to.

Plus, due to the bad depression  I spoke of earlier the drug I was on changed.

When I went on the drug it was both an experiement to see if it would work, and work well instead of making me worse, and to see if the side effect would be good.

Now, there are several side effects. #1 would be a penchant for causing liver failure, thus every six months I get to have blood tests (fasting blood tests!) to make sure that it hasn’t started to shut down. And among the myriad of other things I cannot remember it also causes sleepyness. Which is really great! I took it at night and it helped. The first few months it literally nocked me out. And slowly since then its stopped working as well, but it still did help with sleep.

Well, with the depression I’ve changed both amounts of the drug and the type of drug. But its the same drug…. basically. Now its time released instead of all going into affect at once. And thats a good thing. It means I get a more constant and consistant supply of the chemicals. I’m less likely to experience mood swings, and I don’t have to take the pills at certain times, so many times a day.

Unfortunatly the down side is that with the increase of the medication the nearve receptors that were hit with the drug at a lower dose aren’t hit anymore, and I don’t experience that nasty side effect of sleepyness.

Which means that I’m a bit screwed. Particularly with my logic being off.

Anyway, back to the logic.

I have this idea in my mind, which I’ve never voiced before. But one thats been there nonetheless.

  • If I stray up really late then I’ll get really tired.
  • If I’m really tired then I’ll fall asleep quickly.
  • If I fall asleep quickly I won’t spend so much time in bed laying awake
  • If I’m asleep I will not be tempted to read in bed to fall asleep.

Now, according to several different doc’s in several different professions you shouldn’t treat your room like a room. It should just be a place to store cloths and sleep. You don’t want to have a television (I don’t, I don’t even have room for one) or anything to distract you from falling asleep. You want it to be a place where you just relax. If you have other stimulous then you will be distracted. In addition you need to treat your bed as a sleeping surface. NEVER do anything but sleep in it. If you need to read or do anything but sleep get up. Otherwise your body will think that the bed is more then jus ta sleeping surface and it will be harder for the body to sleep in the bed.

I of course almost always read in bed. Last night it was the second book in the Forerunner series by Andre Norton. And unfortuantly I cannot remember the name at the moment.

I’ve taken to reading her books (at least the ones that I’ve purchased from used book stores and occasionally when I find them from regular book stores) by when they were first copyrighted. They’re all published in different formats, by different publishers and under different names. I have three of the same book all with different names and two with different publishers, and all with different publication dates. So as I read I find out if they go in a series, or trilogy or whatever. If tehy’re the same book with a different title, or anything like that.

Plus its very easy, I simply pull out the next book and insert the book I just finished reading into the open space. Which works well as her first books from the 50’s-early 90’s appear to be about the same size. In the 90’s and even the late 80’s they started to get bigger. Which in general I prefer. But with Andre Norton, I will take ANY book I can get!

Logic. So, tonight for example I stayed up until 1:57am playing the Sims 2. Both because its fun,a nd because it doesn’t require thinking.

Last night I stayed up until about 2am playing. And of course I stayed up until about 3 something finishing that book in an attempt to fall asleep (after lying in bed trying to sleep for half an hour). I woke up at around 4pm, not good!

I know that my logic is off, that I won’t fall asleep faster if I stay up latter. I know that I need to go to sleep early so tha tI’ll wake up early.

But its just no fun to go to bed early and lie in bed trying to fall asleep. I can ususally manage a few hours before I finally give in and get a book. And then I read until I cannot keep my eyes open any more.

So, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t  change?

I just cannot help but wondering…..

Yah right!

Meds help, I know that for a fact, but they can also hurt you. And the dumb TV add with that line, well I’ve either taken those drugs, or am currently on them.

Depression does hurt, physically, mentally and emotionally! There are different stages and levels of depression. Its a wide spread condition that EVERYONE suffers from, to some extent.

Therapy can help people to deal with there depression, or face whaetevr is depressing them so that it no longer depresses them. Or therapy can help a person in general with themselves and depression or other conditions.

Drugs can help, in different ways. But they can also make things worse. I know. Some of those damn drugs put me into a basically emotional and psychological coma. Not nice at all!

The FDA tests drugs, or hires people to test them. But the people in the FDA are basically controlled by the drug companies. The start by working in a drug companey and because of that experieince they are ideal to be hired by the FDA, or the other way around. But however yopu slice it they are controlled by the drug companies. And even though there are warnings cited in commercials, ad’s and by the doc’s you need to be careful. Some doc’s are out there for thmselves, or for the money or even the drug companey. They aren’t with you 24/7, and they cannot read your mind. We all hold things back, things we don’t tell the doc’s or other people. So be careful.

Drugs can be very good. I know, the ones I’m on help keep me functioning. They don’t stop me from feeling depressed, and even from having major depressed epsiodes. But they help me deal with the depression and anxiety. They also slow down the progression of the depression and anxiety. Not stop it, but slow it down so that I notice it and can start to combat it. Unfortunatly soemtimes depression just happens. Like now.

I didn’t notice I was becoming depression until I suddenly realized that things aren’t really making me happy, I’m not really enjoying things. I need to snuggle cats and have people tell me they like me to feel better. I’m always tired and usually hungry. But I don’t have enough energy to actually make anything. So ice cream, chocolate truffles I made a while ago, frozen food, bagel’s, toast and cereal are basically stables of my diet. Not very healthy, but reality.

Anyway, mini rant over!

I interveiwed for my first job. Or rather I interveiwed for my first job in a chain store or retail store. At Target which opens on March 8-9th this year. So, that was Friday and I can expect to hear back from them if they hired me on Monday or Tuesday.

I was excited, it would be a job, a way to make money. Hopefully gain experience and have SOMETHING to put onto an application. I’m 21 for goodness sakes, people don’t like that I’ve never worked. Most people look down on me as lazy, stupid or spoiled. Wehn I’m none of the above, they don’t know anything about me. But they all judge me.

I live in the country! There are no stores in walking distance. And when I was younger I couldn’t drive. When I was old enough to do drivers ed I was busy doing dance and art lessons, and doing school. Then I got sick and dropped out of school because that school…… Moving on. I’ve only had a liscense for a year, I still battle my illness (which is mostly severe depression manifested in physical ways, or at least thats what I beleive the good therapist beleives) AND go to school full time. And work at my school work, I do not want to just glide by, I want to do very well or excelle at what I learn and do!

I just don’t undertsand why people beleive that they have the right to judge me when they know nothing about me, my history or anything!

Anyway, I have finished knitting a berat (hat) for my Mum, which she never thanked me for. Only complained and nit picked about. When I ge tthe guts to call her on it she claims that she doesn’t do that, and that she hurts alot and I need to do everything she wants. (She was in a small car accident) Yes, in different words. But those are the basical and persistant ideas.

Now “A Loose Knit Group” is doing socks for the month of March. Which is new, excit8ng and daunting. But I had never knit a hat or a pair of gloves (fingerless) before. So I’m sure I can do it. I just need to get enough time. A good and simple pattern. And of course find good yarn- preferably homespun.

The two projects on the needles are bags. One is going to be a felted bag. I just want to knit some pockets and sew them on before the bag is felted, and knit the handles for the felting.

The other bag is completely my own pattern. Not felted and ratehr a mish-mash. And s far I’ve probubly spent around 65-75 US dollars on it. Which is alot of money, and soemthing I never meant to do.

So I got out of a class early and had about 4 hours to kill, so I went to Barns and Nobles to find a good knit pattern in a book to buy, then I’d go next door to Micheals and buy some yarn and a pair of needles.

Of course I didn’t get any book as I couldn’t find any patterns I liked. And I didn’t look at the books I knew my Mum had. So I just decided to make up the pattern as I went along.

You know, buy some yarn and knit it like it wants to be knitted.

Of course I had gotten the idea that I wanted trim from on of the patterns in one of the many books. So I went and found cool trims, choose one and decided to go off that.

Its all blue, with a light blue ribbon as a base and lots of round colorful blue sequins handing off it. So I choose 4 different yarns that matched colors in the trim. A pair of needles along with a cable needle (I knew I would knit the bottom band first, and I wanted to have a cable on the bottom) and several strands of beads that also went with the trim.

I also applied through a computer system at Target during that time. And still had over an hour to kill before class started. But enough time to start the base band.

I btought everything with me to the class room (its empty the hour before my class and I’d rather sit in a heated builing then in a cold car), layed it out on the artists bench I was siting on and sketched what I wanted to bag to look like. And if I had a scanner I would scan in the color sketch I did at home. But alas, no scanner!

On alother note, I left early for class on Wensday, it was snowing and we had had a late start. However I misread the clock so I was an 2 hours early. So I went back to Barns and Nobles and did what I wish I had done to start with. Just bought a book. Much less expensive then purchasing loads of stuff.

I got Intertwines by Lexi Boeger. Which was really good. Although I think I would have enjoyed Pluckyfluff Handspun Revolution more. Howeever Barnes and Nobles had three spinning books, counting Intertwined. One was Teach Yourself Visually to Handspin, which I had alreayd purchased from them, and a book about high whorl drop spindle spinning.

I guess what I really want are books which will show and each me different ways  to spin and give me some history and tips and tricks. I’m not a huge fan of books with patterns, as I rarely follow patterns. And even when I do follow patterns I don’t, I change them. I prefer to make soemthing up as I go along. Have a basic idea in mind, know what I wanr to happen. But not follow any set rules or guidelines.

Anyway, the book is very good. I love how she does her patterns. Basicallt a sketch and then by feel and by yarn.

The techniques were interesting, but I’d already read about them elsewhere on the internet. Not that its not nice to be able to quickly find them instead of rememebr them. And have better pics. I just would have liked soemthing different.

However what I really loved, and what made the book worth getting (at least to me) was the “Nozzlers” Page 52. Chapter 3. Free the Pattern!: The Yarn made me do it. And I have been so itching to make a nozzler.

Now, you have to understand that up until this point I’ve thought them to be ugly, stupid and expenisive. However the story to go with them, or the explination is highly enteraining, well written, and defintily has me hooked. Tehy seem so fun, creative and different.

And yes, I would tell you wouldn’t buy the book. And frankly I’m not in the mood to synthesize a wonderful indea into a few terse sentences.

I wish I was at the wheel doing this right now! But I don’t really have time! Time, soemthing I lack so much of. Anyway, on the wheel is some green wool I purchased from Spa, knit and spin weekened in Freeport. Its alright. A wondeful green and has plenty ofbody. However I prefer softer longer fibers. So why did I get the fiber. It was the correct price, $2 an ounce. And I had $18 left. I do have to admite that I got 4oz f this fiber, and there really waas alot of it. I never cease to be amazed how much fiber 1 oz can be.

It was great seeing all kinds of fiber people. But I do have to say, every single stand I went into did one of two things. (or the owners of the stand). They ignored me since I am abviously a college kid, I’m not there with a parent so I obviously don’t have any money to buy fiber, or any real interest in fiber. Do you haev any idea hot hard it is to get someones attention when they are deliberatly ignoring you. Even when you are the only person in the stand and they are looking right at you! Incredibly hard!

And if they weren’t doing that they were following me around very closly (I stepped on one person, although I don;t know if I did it on purpose or not), constantly talk down to me (yes down), repeat themsles repeatedly and treat me as if I am going to shop lift that pound of fiber infront of the cash register.

Needless to say it wasn;’t a very pleaset expierience. Althought  I will say that Spunky Eclectic (Amy) was the excetion. She smiles and said “Hi” when I walked past, she was very nice. And I would have loved to have explroed her stand and purchased fiber. But I know I can go down to her store anytime (driving distance baby!). I really go to the fiber fairs to find new things, good prices (fiber can be damn expensive!), and all that jazz. I know one time I found the Jacquace acid dyes that I use and love. This time I got almost a pound of nice (clean, shiny and untangled and un greasy) mohair locks. Which I cannot wait to spin into a Nozzler! (Although when I purchased them I hadn’t even gotten the book yet, and not all will go into the Nozzler!)

I have finally made an appointment for a hair cut on Tuesday. Its been almsot a year since my last one. And, much to my Mum’s horror (No I’m not telling her before hand!) I think I’m going to get them to dye a few of my curls green! Think deep emerald green.

This is what my hair looked like after my hair cut. All light blond and curly! (this is taken from the udnerside of my hair out!


And this is the last fiber I spun before I started onteh green. It was comercially dyed merino roving which I 2x blended into batts. Then tore off stips and rolled into rologs. And I spun it woollen (I think. Or basically by pulling back with the rolog so losts of air was trapped and no shin) I plied to two singles. (which I had meant to spin from dark to light, but messed up and spun medium, light and then dark). Its came out alright and is dry and sitting on the rack waiting to be reskeined.

comercial-merino-blended.jpg Or you could say meant to spin from redish to blueish.

Anyway. I have finished reading chapter 4 of Legal research and materials. I have several online things I need to do with it, and I hope to actually finish the asignment and test before the due date of this Saterday instead of Saterday night at 11pm.

 Ah well. A batehr and blast of everything and nothing!

Just remember, depression hurts, and you can’t stop that. But you can make it hurt less, or even go away. It just takes alot of work!

Luck and love!


{January 25, 2008}   College- A new semester!

So, I’ve started my classes at UMA again the smester is well(ish) underway. I have two online classes and three classroom classes. The 2-D design and Drawing on Monday and wensday in that order and College Algebra on Wensday after the drawing  class.

So basically I get up really early (read 6:55am), have my first class at 9:30am (it takes at the very least an hour to get to the school) and I’m there all day pretty much.

Now, I’ve only had two classes of each clas. See, the first day of class (a monday) we had a snow day so class was cancelled, I had Wensday’s classes. Then We had Martin Luther King Jr. day so no class. But I had it wensday, and I came home absoutly exhaisted. I mean fall into bed and not being consious exhausted.

Now, it is a really long day, and the classes were all rather long. My god man, the drawing professor TOLD us to get sharpies (along with at least $100 worth of supplies for me, but I already had the other $150 worth of supplies). So I was rather dubious, why would anyone want to draw with sharpies. But hey, I got them. I even got two kinds, the fine and extra fine, as well as some in color. WRONG! On wensday he discovered that those weren’t the kind he wanted, no we should have gotten drawing pens. Surprise, surprise, they’re cheaper then sharpies. So I have a box full  (think long narrow tissue box) of sharpies which I will never use as A) they smell b) I don’t like them and c) why use a dumb bleeding and smelly marker when you can use a nice smooth pen?

And the math class (can you tell this is a rant? Well you should have noted that when I titled the post “College…”) is horrieble! He doesn’t teach. I will admit that he does show us how to do some of the equations on the graphing claculator. But I’m in teh class to learn to do the damn math! Not how to work the calculator. And his excuse for not teaching- read the book. Yes, read a math book. Now, I am one of the few people who actually read all of their reading’s and school crap. But math books are a little too much. For me their just very expensive books with problems you do to imprint the math into the mind forever (aka a tourture device!).

Anyway, I did try to read the math book. I actually did. I tried to read several parts that were relevant and were suppose to teach me how to do the problem. Well they do if you consider the abc equation with no direction as to how to do it a learning device. And even if I did immedeatly understand how to problems were supposed to be done, the equations (I call them abc because they all have letters rather then numbers. You just have to know which letter goes with which number of the equation your solving. Replace the letter with the number and figure out how to do it!) are just too arquan. Please let ehe book speak some level of english.

So this class has me incredibly stressed, and between everything else and life and mum refusing to admit she made a mistake I had a melt down today. One of those moments when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, cry and go comatose fr a few years. Seriously! And I’m defintily not out of the woods yet. So hopefully I will regain some semblance of unstress, however I’m not holding my breath.

I have finished uploading the pics and have labled a few of them (think batts of roving) and I have ripped out both fingerless gloves that I origionally knit (very ahrd after hidding the stitches) and reknit them and wrote a pattern, then reversed the pattern (a little bit) to do the left hand glove. I really liek them. They do everything I want. And I do not care that mum says the thumb was cast off too tight (I hate loose cast offs, their floppy and messy and pill and crap). My thumb is very comfortable, and her thumb is snug. Not tight, not hard or anything. So, I have knit my first real pair of fingerless gloves. It was veyr fun.

And I haven’t really done much else.

 Hope you’re all having fun!


et cetera