Life, Fiber, Books and All

{March 12, 2008}   If inconsistancies are a major part of life…..

Count me OUT!!!!!!!!! Way, way, way, really far out! I want absolutly nothing to do with them! They are evil, grotesque and incredibly cruel!

What would I say that?

Because that’s how I feel!

Why do I feel that way?

Because one of my two classes a week professors is the king, no, rather the emperor of them! Which makes the class rather hellish!

So, I have two online classes and two classes that meet twice a week on campus. Both classes are 3 hour long art classes which involve a fair amount or work. But mostly repetition, which gets dull after a while.

For example, B-Cat (who teaches the drawing 1 class I’m in) is NEVER consistant. I swear he must take drugs AND say to himself every morning and night “I will not be consistant! I will not be consistant!”

Okay, so back tracking a little.

I have in general had really bad luck with art teachers. They either disliked me, I didn’t get along with them, or they were gross, stupid, illinformed and didn’t know what they were doing, or in their own little world.

However, I have always done really, really, really well at art. Its come very easily to me, and quickly. I’m better and worse at different things. For example, I cannot for the very life of me manage to make good pottery, but I can do really wonderful watercolors. I just love getting the right tint, and shading. Using the water the pull the pain around, or the opposite.

In grade school I went to ER Art once a week. (ER, standing for Enriched Resource) and got to try all kinds of different art types and techniques. It was so much fun, and I was rather good at it too. I was used to being good at it, I did it alot, and I mean ALOT. And it was my talent. It helped make up for the fact that not only didn’t I understand sports, but I sucked at them. I was the last person anyone wanted to work with, for anything. But particularly gym, sports and maths.

In middle school I was also in ER ART. But this time instead of meeting once a week in the widest hallway (there literally wasn’t anywhere else to meet) during my lunch and recess break (who needs to eat when you can do art. And it was really, really nice to escape from recess. As far as I was concerned it was just a form of ourture lkike gym.)

We met in the art room, there was actually an art room. It was so amazing, and it was the first time I relized that different classes could and should have their own room, and their own supplies and specialized equipment. (It was also when I learned that I had asolutly no talent for 3-d art. Pottery- I still hate you!)

In middle school were were one a 5 day schedual. Day 1 was the first day of school, and it cycled through day 1-5. If we had a snow day, or vacation you simply started where you left off. So for Spring break we might end on day 3, then when school started again it would be day 4.

So, we met on days 2 and 4 in 7th grade. In 8th grade we met on days 1, 3, and 5. Which was awesome, to meet two days in a row! And it worked out great for me. See the other thing I was really good at was reading. And accourding to their placement test for reading I was way up there in the seniors of high school, college level. So for a while they tried to stick me in with one of the reading classes (those met first period of every day), but I was to good. Okay, I was too good. It was too easy, but I never said anything, never acted out or anything. I just went along with it. I got sick alot and missed alot of school, blah, blah, blah and they moved me out of the advanced reading class into the “super advanced reading class”. AKA the class where one of the teachers help a kind of study hall. See, the really, really smart kids who had other ER classes also had their reading class through ER, so during that first period of the day they had study hall. The teacher gave me a sheet of paper listing different genre’s. Said read a book for each genre and write a report. I went way into detail and wrote these really long reports, I hadn’t ever written one before and I had no guildines. He yelled at me and told me he just wanted a paragraph. He also really liked to yell at me and tell me I was reading way below my level.

I mean come on, I read anything I could get my hands on. I hardly knew what a genre was, and the only ones I knew about were historical fiction, mysteries, biographies, and the like. I couldn’t tell the difference between fiction and non-fiction, and I had never heard of science fiction or fantasy. (which by the way are very different things despite being lumped together.)

Anyway, other then I didn’t know anything it was a great class. I got to read and no one bothered me, and I got do do art two days a week.

When I was an 8th grader they got smart and just let me have study hall in the hall with two other ER art students (who were also in all the other ER classes).

So, I had the art classes, lots nad lots of them. And I was really scared of the teacher as she yelled at me the very first day we had class. But by the time school ended she was my favotire teacher, or course she was also the only reasonable, nice and sane teacher. All of “us” ER art students would hang out in her classroom working on projects, doing art and fooling around during most of our afetrnoon study halls. It was really nice, and alot of fun. It was also one of the few times I had “freinds” to be around.

Can you tell I’m not only a social misfit, but particularly when I was younger I was very shy. I just didn’t know how to react around people.

Anyway, back to the subject.

In highschool I was disapointed, I didn’t have time to take any art classes my first year, but the second year I took 3 classes. Pottery (Yes, it just confirmened that I in no way can make pottery!) and printmaking (I cannot do that either!) were each a semester, or half a year long. I also had the generic art class. Which was alot of drawing, a littler papermache (I did an oragami crane), even less painting and again, alot of drawing and shape making.

So, printmaking was dull and annoying. The teacher was so strange. He loved to talk about being in the peace corps, how he owned a maple sugar stand (and made the syrup, I have made sure to NEVER buy his brand!), and how great and wonderful the army was! (This would also be the year after 9/11). he was the strangest combination of liberal and staunch conservative. The class was long and dull. I was okay at making the design and conceptualising it. But for whatever reason he kept messing up some fo the transpherance of a design via a light sensative meterial. Because of that even though I tapped the screen profusly!!!!!!!! it just never worked and it leaked EVERYWHERE. I was really bad at the whole wood cutting thing. And all of the other printmaking techniques. Surprisingly he always held my artwork up as an example (even after I wasn’t at the school anymore. I know because my Mum (a music teacher in the district) saw the print hanging up two years AFTER I was at the school. She stole it and brought it home. I prefered not to even think about it!

The art class and the pottery class were both taught by the came women. Who I swear never took a bath or shower, or washed or even brushed her hair! She loved to talk about how she handwashed all of her cloths and prefers not to use electricity. The art class was cool. We worked with some different mediums. I learned that I really liked China Markers (although I haven’t used them since). We did alot of different and sometimes crazy stuff. And I was really, really good at shading, creating textures and drawing. My artwork was ALWAYS the example, put up for display or both. And I can honestly say several times I would be looking at this really amazing artwork she was holding up as an example. Only when I literally saw my name at the bottom would I realize that it was my artwork.

We’ll not think about pottery, disaster would be a good word. If there is such a word.

Basically I came into my own of art in high school. I also got really sick and ended up dropping out and not really doing alot of art. Sure, I still go the the Friday afternoon art class I’ve taken since I was 7 (I’m 21 now).

I’ll admit that my art skills ahev gotten a bit rusty, and sometimes it dows take a space to remember how to used different mediums, or learn for the first time.

But this man! He said the very first class that he didn’t like to lecture (half and hour latter). Well now we can expect at least 30 minutes of lecture to start with, and plenty for during the class.

And then he sayd one thing, then changes his mind, or forgets and changes his mind. And he doesn’t admit it. I know most of us in the class have spent wasy more money then we never needed to ahev spent. I didn’t need to spend $50 on Sharpies, which he named b brand and type. I could ahve just spent the $20 to get the pens that he really wanted us to get but didn’t say until the second class. So, $50+$20= $70 spent. $50 of which never should have been spent in the first place! And tha twas only the start, and its still happening.

When he lectures he doesn’t say anything new, which would be understandable and possibly helpful. No. B-cat has to say exactly the same things he said the first class. Which is really, really boring! Today I couldn’t even look semi bored, I absolutly know that my face had started to look resentful.

Now, until now in the class my drawings have usually been in the “wow” “thats  really good” “see how this person…..”.

So, okay. We’re finally off contour line drawings (which were okay the first month, but this is the third month of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and we’re onto charcoal and drawing, or rahter shading the shadows in. We aren’t allowed to draw lines now.

And of course I need to lines to give me a sense of direction, tell me where I am, and stop me from creating soemthing completely out of preportion.

Anyway, he walks around looking at everyones drawing and tells me that this particular part is “really very good” “you have wonderful texture”, and do the rest like that.

Well then he keeps coming back and yelling at me because I changed by style. The little top bit doesn’t match the rest of the drawing. And he keeps nagging on me and telling me how terrible it is. He holds it up to show everyone how important consistancy it!

I mean WHAT THE F*CK!!!!!!

You freaking say one thing and literally by the time he goes around the room again not only have I and my drawing become evil, but he needs to hammer it home.

Not only that but we have to take this drawing home and finish it. We have to use the space left in the drawing to create anoither still life that blends seemlessly into the other drawing.

Not only that, another time around he holds my drawing up and says how great it is taht I’m doing shading around the objects. That I’m adding depth and background so that they stick out. Only half a cicute of the room and he’s back yelling about how terrible it is. How it dosn’t match the rest of the drawing. (well it did, the newer parts of the drawing, the parts he origionally wanted me to do). I then “fix it”. 10 minutes later he comes back and not only yells because I fixed it too quickly and didn’t take enough time with it. But its also all of the things he had just said he wanted!

Now, I’m not too happy about the pic to start with, I was having trouble finding the way I liked working with the charcole, and getting it to do what he wasnted us to do with it. So I am really not happy and I have to try and find a way to “fix” the pic.

 So I fricking hate B-cat! Not only is he inconsistant, but he’s rude, stupid and dumb. And so far EVERYONE I have talked to concures. My goodness man, make up your mind and stick to it!!!!!!!

Now, I’ve always known from an earily age that I wasn’t creating art in the classes for myself (okay, highschool really. And grade school, but I didn’t realize it then). I was creating what the teacher wanted to see. They didn’t want to see what we saw, or created. They wanted to see something that fit their ideas and their images.

But I hadn’t really noticed it too much from B-cat before. Or maybe I’d been ignoring it. And also, I really don’t want to go back to making art for someone else. I prefer making art to explore, experiement and try soemthing new. I don’t like sticking with the same old thing, I like adding twists, turns and doing things differently.

For example, I am so sick of still lives!!!!!!!!!! I mean really sick!!!!! And we only ever do still lives of the same dull spray painted white plastic juice jugs and wine bottles. Trust me, three months, very dull! So, what am I doing in my Friday afternoon art class? Why I’m doing a still life. On Bristol board (which I’ve never really worked in before), and I am using a different medium for every object or part of the still life. The wine glass and the wine bottle will be in water color, the background is in acrylic. The label on the wine bottle will be guache and the straw holder or bottom of the wine bottle will be in pen and ink. The grapes are going to be in soft pastel, the apple will be in oil pastels, the pomagranite will be in colored pencil and I’dd not really sure about the lemon or the cloth. Perhaps ebony pencil for the cloth and china markers for the lemon.

Anyway. Just incase you didn’t understand it before. I really, really, REALLY HATE B-cat!!!!!!!! He’s an annoying bastard as far as I am concerned!

 But I suppose thats life, college, school and otherwise.

Live well,



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