Life, Fiber, Books and All

{November 8, 2007}   The Week of Pure Rot!

This week has been one ofthe worst I’ve had in a very long time!

On Monday I left for school about 1 and a 1/2 hours earlyer than I normally would so I could go in and sign up for classes.

 The important bit to know:


The buricrats first told me I didn’t need an appointment to sign up for classes, I could just walk in anytime the first week of sign up. Than they told me only Freshman could be registered by the Registration Office. Okay, so I’m not exactly a freshman. But I figure since its my first year there…. And than they tell m, after I’ve been sitting for an hour, that I cannotsign up there. They only sign up first semester students. Now, they never told me this before, I never received a slip of paper or speach spelling this out. So I’m understandubly annoyed. When I meantion I don’t have an advisor even though I checked the box that said please give me one they become annoyed and slightly defensive. As if thats their problem. So I’m sent on a bit of a wild goose chase before I find the place where people actually can sign up for classes.

After a 10 or so minute wait I get someone. Who cannot assign me to an advisor, has no advice to offer as to good/bad or stupid class. Or good/bad teachers. So I have to sign up blind. Not only that, most of the classes I would liek to take are offered rotationally. Meaning the first class in teh fall, second class in teh spring. So I cannot sign up for ASL (american sign language), physics, or any of the architecture class. And, I cannot sign up fr any ofthe arcitecture classes anyway because those are closed to all but architecture degree studetns, and they all have to be signed off on by theere advisors. So, this is noit a great day.

However I do manage to sign up for, Drawing I, 2-D design, and World History II (I’m hoping that I can keep up with them!), as well as two online courses. A Library sceince class and Legal research and materials class. 14 credits in all. (the library one is 2 credits)

So, when that was done I went and hung out at the Criminal Justic room until class. Which was long, dull and stupid. Ending with an announcemnt that we’d have another test the next week. This makes life so much mores stressfull than it ought to be!

I lamost failed, or got a d or c or soemthing on my last test. It was aweful. And now, I’m not making excuses, I’m agreeding with and pretty much quopting the professor when he said “I’m a  lousy teacher and I can’t write tests.” The last test was aweful. He tested on the little tiny things I didn’t even remember from the book. I read each chapter at least 10 times, and I normally pretty much memorize what I read.  So thats bad if I do bad.

On top of that stress in communications we’re assigned into groups by the teacher. We need to come up wit h a topic and present that to the class, along with sub topics we’ll write papers individually on. The main subject is soemthing about communication.

I took the lead and  got everyones info, emailed tah tadn the basic ideas we’d had in class to everyone. I asked my Dad for ideas, and also some more of my own. Now, my Dad is ratehr brilliant. So when his and my favorite idea was “communication and casual conversation” it’s go to be a good idea. The group later agreed that we’d do it (and no, I didn’t push. I just sat back and let everyone else decide), and than we divied up the sub topics I’d come up with.

Half of the group went to the computer to look up books, the rest of us were still brainstorming at the table. The professor came over and asked what our topic was, I explained it and she immedeatly said what a rotten idea. How crappy it was, how we wouldn’t get anything from it and it wouldn’t work and we shouldn’t do it.

She immedeatly went to the other half of the group, asked the same questio nand got the sme answer. She went on and on about what a great idea it was, how perfect, brilliant and everything else. I felt aweful, I feel aweful! I want to curl up into a corner and cry. What the f*ck! This is my idea, literally the whole thing is my idea. And to my face I’m told aweful crap, and than to others its called brillant. Now, before I didn’t care about getting credit for it being my idea. But now I really want credit. I want to march up to her and tell her what a jerk she was. And how  the whole idea was mine, every bit. No one else in the group had contributed yet. How much she hurt my feelings and how aweful of her it was to do that!

 So, basically I have been in an aweful mood since Monday. And it got worse today!

I was playing El, and ahd finished everything I needed to do for tomarrow, so I was actually playing it. Not just sitting there harvesting and looking up occasinally to keep the game from falling asleep.

Until now I have been in the guild BoC (blue oyster cult guild). But on particular new member was driving me nuts. Always whinning and begging for free stuff. And how no one liekd him, and about how no one would sell him anything. So I Snapped. I admit it I was rude. I immedeatly apolized. The direct quote:

[20:35:14] #GM from guinevereanne: poor baby. Just make sure you keep whinning about it
[20:35:36] #GM from guinevereanne: I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.
[20:35:42] #GM from syni: your a bitch.
[20:35:49] #GM from syni: opps that was uncalled for.

Very soon after I asked Trogov the GM (guild master) to kick me. Now, I could ahve kicked Syni for foul language. Howver I didn’t feel comfortable kicking someone because I had been called a bitch. It would have flet too much like self retaliation.

Of course I lied at first when asked why I was leaving. I said because Syni among others had made the guild no fun. And that I had been rude before (no lie yet.) And if I stayed I would be rude again.

[20:43:09] [PM to trogov: because Syni, among others, but mainly him are making EL unenjoyable. And if I stay in BoC with him I will start being nasty and saying things that I ]
[20:43:14] [PM to trogov: mean but shouldn’t say]

But the real reason I left was because I cannot stand being called a bitch. Or anythign nasty. I know that its part of life, but I cannot stand it. I grew up ina  house where people do not swear. The foul works I know I learned at school. And I figure, I’m playing this game for fun, but mostly to chat adn talk and have fun with friends. I do not need to put up with personal abuse!

I have too much stress at the moment, and I just cannot stand being called a bitch! I did relent and tell the real reason. But I don’t think Trogov understands or cares.

SO i really don’t know what will happen. Ireally liek playing EL, but only because I can chat and have fun with friends. This last bit playing the game hasn’t been any fun!

I realized I miss alot with the guild. I cannot chat or talk with friends. I’m very isolated by myself.

If I could do it over again I would tell syni he was being kicked because he was always begging (against the rules of the guild) and he had sworn (against the rules again). I honestly never realized how much I meant to the people in the guild. Almsot all of them asked me why I had left. And they all seemed to want to kick syni and keep me. Which felt good and bed. I was causing problems. But I had left so I wouldn’t cause problems. So this seems ot defeat the purpose.

Also, I didn’t kick syni because I felt uncomfortable doing that. I just don’t, or ratehr didn’t undertsand what a high knight (rank 19, the rank below the gm) was supposed to do. I don’t want to take liberties that I shouldn’t.

Of course, now all I really want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. Which I have been putting off. I know it won’t really help me. But I’m very, very stressed at the moment, and heading towards very depressed.

So thank you all for listening. I hope you’re not compeltly bewilldered by my self pity. And I hope you havn’t throw something nasty at the screen.

No spinning as I have been pretty much too busy. I did spin up some shetland yesterday that I dyed orange and blue with plenty of white. However no pics have made there way to the computer yet.

Night all,



[…] guinevereanne added an interesting post today on The Week of Pure Rot!.Here’s a small reading:Which I have been putting off. I know it won’t really help me. But I’m very, very stressed at the moment, and heading towards very depressed. So thank you all for listening. I hope you’re not compeltly bewilldered by my self pity. … […]

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